SWENSDAY STUFF

Warning: Rebounding is Habit Forming
Swen Nater

You’ve all heard of Pavlov’s Dog, right? Physiologist, psychologist, and physician, Ivan Petrovich Pavlov, while conducting experiments on the gastric function of dogs, collecting saliva to see what response it had to food under different conditions, noticed the dogs salivated before food was given to them. He thought the psychology of it was much more interesting than the chemistry of saliva, so he began studying, what he called, “conditional response.” He is most famous for his “Pavlov’s Dog” experiments where he created conditions, such as the noise of a tuning fork, a whistle, and a metronome (the bell is a myth), when he fed the dogs. Eventually, without food even nearby, they salivated when he repeated the noises. But you knew that.

At Purdue, Coach Wooden was an English major and studied psychology for his minor. I’m certain his professors presented the Pavlov’s Dog experiments because he used the strategy on us. In the area of rebounding, for example, he created drills where, numerous times, you threw the ball up on the backboard and went after it. We did this every day for a season. It wasn’t long until, every time a ball was shot, I unconsciously responded by going to get it. The ball went up and I went up. It was condition-reflex. More than a conscious effort to go get the ball, rebounding is a habit, created by condition-response repetition.

When playing basketball, that came in handy but, after basketball, it has continued to be a habit that I wish I could break. Actually, it’s driving me nuts. Oh, I’m not talking about rebounding while playing basketball; I don’t play anymore if I can help it. I’m talking about around the office.

As I mentioned before, offensive rebounding is kind of like cleaning up a mess. The mess is a missed shot. Cleaning up that mess is rebounding and putting the ball in the basket where it belongs. At work, those little trashcans in our cubes, and the large trashcans and recycle cans in the break room, somehow look like baskets to me (I know, I’m sick.) I can’t tell you how many times I’ve walked into that break room and seen a Coke can on the floor. Somebody missed the shot. So, I go and pick it up and put it where it belongs, in the recycle can. I rebound.

You might say, “That’s normal. That’s not a habit you should break.” But, I haven’t told you the whole story. When I pick up one of those cans, it’s way after the shot was missed. That’s not rebounding. I’m conditioned to rebound when the shot is missed, not an hour later.

Is it so difficult, after drying your hands with a paper towel in the restroom, to make the shot into the can? Yet we have some really bad shooters here at work. Every time, I mean every time, I go to the restroom, I spend at least one minute rebounding paper towels. But, then again, it’s way after the shot is missed.

So here’s the problem. I want to get the rebound immediately after the shot is missed. So, I find myself in the break room, acting like I’m microwaving something, pretending to check the refrigerator to make sure my lunch is still there, and surveying the pop machine to see which soda I want, just waiting for someone to miss a shot into the recycle can. I find myself in the restroom, brushing my teeth, watching for a missed shot with a paper towel in the trash. One time, I got a beautiful rebound in the restroom. This guy got done washing his hands, got the paper towel, and dried his hands. I could tell by the way he nonchalantly walked over to the trashcan, he was going to miss. It hit the rim and started falling toward the tile floor. I caught that little paper ball just before it hit the floor. What a great feeling. 

Somebody help me! If Pavlov were alive, I’d ask him for the antidote. I want to break this habit and live a peaceful life. Just yesterday as I was driving home, a huge earthmoving trencher was hoisting dirt and dumping it into a truck that was going to haul it away. One clump of dirt hit the edge of the truck and I almost got out of my car. Somebody help me. Rebounding is a habit.

“I never drink water; I’m afraid it will become habit forming.” W.C. Fields