The Greatest Invention of Man
Swen Nater

What is the most important and greatest invention ever? According to the website, http://inventors.about.com/od/famousinventions/tp/topteninvention.htm, the top ten are: The Telephone, Computer, Television, Automobile, Cotton Gin, Camera, Steam Engine, Sewing Machine, Light Bulb, and Penicillin. These are all worthy but, for me, Beano® is number one.

Beano®: The Greatest Invention of Man
Swen Nater

Before Beano®, the greatest invention of man,
My life was so stressful and absent of bliss.
The bloating and gas,
Made me constantly pass.
Before Beano®, my life was destructive like this.

On the first day my family moved in our new home,
We ate enchiladas we bought at the mall.
With beans and with rice,
It was not very nice.
In the night, the paint pealed right on off of the wall.

One breakfast, at Pepe’s Peppery Pit,
I finished a plateful of Huevos Rancheros.
I went on to my job,
Released, and the mob,
Keeled over in order like stacked dominos.

Our family went camping and cooked Pork and Beans,
On a fire from wonderful wood I had found.
That night, the foul scent,
Filled our family-sized tent,
And it lifted it several feet off of the ground.

In a filled elevator, after eating some tacos,
Immediately after the close of the door,
The processed legumes,
Made their poisonous fumes,
And each person got off on the very next floor.

But since taking that wonderful discovery called Beano®,
The greatest invention since the wheel and sliced bread,
I don’t hear any groans,
“Oh my God!” or the moans,
And I don’t fear that someone might someday be dead.

I had a little help with this poem but the person who helped me, for some reason, asked to remain anonymous.