SWENSDAY STUFF

If Coach Wooden Made Salad Dressing
Swen Nater

Wendy and I enjoy making recipes together. This summer, we were on a mission to make the best barbecue sauce. We gathered countless recipes, tried several, combined some of them into a new recipe, and tweaked it to where it was so good, when I conducted a BBQ Sauce Throwdown here at work, my fellow employees selected it over Stubb’s and Sweet Baby Ray’s.

Our next undertaking was Balsamic Vinaigrette Dressing. Wendy came up with a recipe we think is hard to beat. It’s a perfect blend of vinegar, sweetness, spices, and kick. Now we’re on a determined quest to make the very best Honey-Mustard Vinaigrette.

Every off-season from 1948 to 1975, Coach Wooden conducted a deep scientific study of the various components of basketball and teaching by: Collecting data, Analyzing it, Making a Decision, and Trying those findings out. As Wendy and I embark on our exciting “Quest for the Best” Honey-Mustard Vinaigrette, I can’t help but wonder—if Coach were to do it, would he use the same method he did when he studied the game? I believe he would.

Collecting Data
First, he would learn which experts made the best dressing and send them questionnaires. Then, he would drive to Albertsons and look at the ingredients on every Honey-Mustard Vinaigrette salad dressing and copiously write them down. He would curiously peruse every on-line recipe and every page of every culinary book and magazine (i.e. Better Homes, bon appétit, Cook’s, Cooking Light, Food Network, and Good Housekeeping), hunting for recipes and secrets. He would make appointments and visit Bobby Flay, Emeril Lagasse, Julia Childs (he’d find a way), Mario Batali, and Martha Stewart (optional), picking their brains for, not only the ingredients, but for culinary tips.  

Analyzing Data
After exhaustive weeks of gathering every possible bit of information, he would lay it all out to be sorted and analyzed. He would first look for commonalities and would find all contain vinegar, honey and mustard (duh), oil, salt, and pepper. He would also notice, most recipes instruct you to slowly drizzle the oil in last, while whisking or blending the rest of the ingredients on low speed. Then, he would notice, good recipes include four varieties of vinegar: Red wine, White wine, Rice, and White, and he would see there was not an overwhelming preference for any particular one. 

He would look for “outliers,” some interesting out-of-the-box ingredient intended to kick the recipe up a notch. Three outliers he would find would be dried basil, hot sauce, and nutmeg. One cook suggested flax seed oil while 99.9% of cooks recommended olive oil.

Make a Decision
When Coach finished analyzing his data, he would probably put on his blue and gold apron, get out his food processor, and make many recipes. For example, in a recipe that called for white wine vinegar, he would try red wine, white, or rice vinegar. After trying every possible combination, including the outliers, he would finally come up with a Honey-Mustard Vinaigrette he thought was near-perfect.

Try It Out
Last, he would invite the UCLA guys over for dinner and serve us salad with his J.W.’s Honey-Mustard Vinaigrette. It would be to die for and well-qualified to be served at Denny’s….I mean….Ruth’s Chris.

But to my knowledge, Coach didn’t cook. Nellie was much better at that. But, after finding the perfect recipes for teaching rebounding, offense, defense, motivation, maximum production in practice, conditioning, teamwork, and fundamentals, the flavorful presentations he put out on the court year after year, weren’t too bad, don’t you agree?